


A Second Chance

by breathingdestiel



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, First Time, Flashbacks, Getting Back Together, Inn Owner Cas, M/M, Marriage, Nature, Non-Penetrative Sex, Past Lisa Braeden/Dean Winchester, Reminiscing, Semi-Public Sex, Small Towns, Teacher Dean
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-03
Updated: 2017-07-03
Packaged: 2018-11-23 00:50:04
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 7,991
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11391930
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/breathingdestiel/pseuds/breathingdestiel
Summary: Castiel Shurley has always wanted a life full of excitement and adventures. He dreams of becoming a photographer and traveling the world. During the last summer before college, he visits his father in Faylake, Virginia to work for him in his inn. One day he meets Dean Winchester and they are immediately attracted to each other. Castiel finds himself deeply in love, so when Dean suggests that they get married, he can't say no. However, his happiness is short-lived because Dean leaves without a trace soon after.Seven years later, Castiel is in charge of his father's inn, his dreams shattered and forgotten. He likes to pretend he's happy, but he yearns for a change and an escape. Dean's sudden return to Faylake might just be the opportunity he has long awaited.Written for Destiel Harlequin Challenge.





	1. Part 1

**Author's Note:**

> I was planning to post this on the 15th, but I want to focus on other things instead, so here it is. 
> 
> I want to thank my wonderful beta [jagerjared](http://jagerjared.tumblr.com) ([Sammys_Rose](http://archiveofourown.org/users/Sammys_Rose/pseuds/Sammys_Rose)). All the remaning mistakes are my own.

__

 

  _Cas loved living in New York. He loved the rush, the people, the noise. Still, coming to Faylake every summer for the last five years was the best experience he had ever had. Ever since his parents had divorced and his father moved to Virginia to open a small inn, Cas would visit him and help around. Yes, he had to do some chores, but he had plenty of time to roam around the town and surrounding forest. Some of the best photos he'd ever taken were of the Faylake forest, in the heart of which was the beautiful, clear lake, the biggest source of Cas's inspiration._

_Settling into his room, he took his camera out of the bag. He couldn't wait to add more photographs to his portfolio._

_"Hey, son. Everything okay?" Chuck's voice startled him._

_"Yes. I'm unpacking, but I'll come downstairs soon."_

_"No hurry, it's your first day. You can relax, go take a walk. I know you're itching for it," Chuck smiled and Cas let out a small laugh. His dad knew him well._

_"Thank you."_

_"Don't thank me. I'm just glad you're here," Chuck said and left the room._

_Cas smiled. He loved his dad and he was sad that he couldn't see him more often, but New York simply offered better education. They, meaning he_ and _his parents, had all agreed that it would be best for Cas to live with his mother during the year and visit Chuck in summer._

_He sighed as he remembered that this would probably be his last summer in Faylake since he was starting college in a few months. Everything would be different then, he was sure. New people, new experiences, new opportunities. Adventure. Something he had craved for since he was a little boy._

_He had known for years he wanted to study photography and now, he was just a step away from it. While he would miss Faylake, he was beyond excited about college and fulfilling his dream. Everything would be perfect, he could feel it in his bones._

Cas huffed as he remembered his naïve optimism. Nothing was perfect.

Forcing the nostalgic memories of his childhood away, he glued his eyes to the computer screen and focused back on his work. He would never be finished if kept getting distracted by his own thoughts.

The bell above the door announced a newcomer. Without looking up Cas greeted them, "Welcome to Shurley's Inn, how can I help you?"

"Hey, Cas," a deep voice said, much deeper than it was seven years ago, but Cas recognized it in a beat.

He stared in shock at the other man. "Dean," he whispered, not believing his eyes. How often did he dream about this?

"Long time, no see, huh?" Dean let out an awkward chuckle and rubbed the back of his neck.

Those words snapped him out of a daze and he bit out, "What the fuck are you doing here? Now, after all these years?"

Dean shrugged and looked around the room. "I-I just wanted… Can we talk? Maybe when you're done with your work."

The anger boiled through his veins. He wanted to say no, to tell Dean to go fuck himself, but deep inside he knew he would regret it. After all, he needed some kind of closure and apparently Dean was there to give it to him.

"Hannah," he yelled, sharper than he meant to, and saw Dean wince.

A few seconds later, Hannah appeared in the doorway. "Yes?"

"Hannah, I need to take a break- no, I need to take the rest of the day off. Will you be able to take care of everything by yourself?"

"Of course. You know I will, Castiel," Hannah nodded and glanced between him and Dean. "Is everything alright?"

"Yes, don't worry. This is my husband," Cas said and saw her eyes widening in surprise. "We haven't seen each other in quite a while."

"I didn't know-" Hannah began, but Cas raised his hand and stopped her.

"It's a long story. I'll tell you about it later." He walked around the counter towards Dean. "Now, if you'll excuse us. Dean and I have much to talk about."

He brought Dean to the cabin. Their cabin. He hadn't been there for years, but it had always felt wrong to think about selling it.

"Well, this place didn't change at all," Dean said as he swept his finger through a thick layer of dust on the coffee table.

"No one's been here for a while. Dad used to come around, clean up, but since he died…"

"I'm sorry about Chuck, Cas. I know I'm a bit late-"

"Only five years late."

"Yeah," Dean looked at the floor. "So, um, you took over the inn, huh? I always thought Gabriel would be the one to take it over?"

"Well, Gabriel is great in the kitchen, but running a business isn't really his forte. And, I, um, I got a business degree, so…" Cas shrugged, trying to sound nonchalant.

"You gave up on photography," Dean said, gazing softly at him, "I'm sorry, I know how much it meant to you."

"What's done is done. I'm happy here."

"Are you?"

"Yes, my life may not be perfect, but I have my family here, my friends and stable work. I'm happy," Cas said firmly. Dean didn't need to know how miserable Cas actually was.

"That's good," Dean said, before the silence stretched between them.

"So, um, how are you, Dean?" Cas asked after a few moments.

Dean let out a breathless laugh, "If you asked me that two weeks ago, I'd say I was fucking great, but now…," he trailed off.

"Now?"

"I'm having an existential crisis, I think."

"You think?" For the first time since their arrival at the cabin, Cas smiled. "Is that why you're here? Confronting your past?"

"Yeah, something like that."

As they sat in silence, Cas watched Dean from the corner of his eye and waited for him to say what was bothering him. Dean was fiddling with the hem of his shirt, his eyes downcast and eyebrows furrowed. And still so fucking beaut- Cas sighed. He was so weak.

Suddenly, Dean got up from the old couch they had been sitting on and exclaimed, "Let's go to the lake. I missed it. Bet it's still breathtaking as fuck." As he spoke, Dean's gaze didn't move away from Cas and it gave Cas an impression he wasn't talking just about the lake, making his heart pound in his chest. This man would be the death of him.

They walked out quietly, side by side, and made their way to the shore which was only a few feet behind their hom- the cabin. Chuck had purposely gifted it to them, knowing how much both of them loved the view of the lake.

"God," Dean breathed out as he caught the sight of the crystal clear surface.

Cas hummed in agreement.

"I remember when I first came here. It was supposed to be just a pit stop, but I ended up falling in love. Twice!" Dean laughed. "With you and with this miracle right here."

Cas's heart clenched painfully at they way Dean said it. Like it was something they could joke about. Like Cas hadn't spent last seven years heartbroken. "Dean…"

"Yeah, sorry." Dean looked down.

"Please, Dean, just tell me why you are here," Cas rubbed his eyes, getting tired of this conversation. His head was starting to hurt and he wished Dean would stop avoiding the subject.

"Come on, let's sit on the dock. I think I should tell you everything."


	2. Part 2

Dean was seventeen when his father died. He, his mother and younger brother were left heartbroken and their lives had changed dramatically. Dean was forced to find another job because they weren't able to live on Mary's salary alone. Not if they wanted to keep their house. Which they all did.

So, Dean started working at the library along with working part-time as a mechanic. He didn't mind, he loved books and he loved cars, but neither job was something he wanted to do for the rest of his life. He was planning to go to college, study physics and become a teacher. In high school, he had an amazing science teacher who made him love science and he wanted to become just like her, inspiring bright minds.

Therefore, it hurt when he realized he wouldn't be able to afford going to college. Yes, he was offered a scholarship, by several universities in fact, but there was no way he would be able to manage two jobs and university and not working meant less income. So, naturally, he decided he wouldn't go to college. He would never put himself before his family, and he knew he had to take care of them. It hurt, but it would stop hurting eventually.

When he graduated, he was ready to start working full-time at Bobby's, but Mary sat him down and told him he should take a road trip.

"But, Mom, we need money! I can't-"

"Honey, I know you're upset about not going to college and I really think you need to take a few weeks for yourself. We've saved enough for now and Sam said he'll mow lawns and walk dogs during the summer."

"But-"

"Besides, the library will be closed for renovations for two months."

"I don't know, Mom."

"Dean, I know how hurt you are. And you are so good, helping me, making a huge sacrifice for our family, but you need to put yourself first sometimes."

That was how Dean found himself in Faylake, Virginia.

"Welcome to Shurley's Inn," a scruffy man greeted Dean as he entered the inn.

"Hello. I'd like to rent a room, please."

"Certainly. How long will you be staying with us?"

"Well, um, how much is one night?"

"$60."

Dean raised his eyebrows and looked around. The place looked fancy, but it was much cheaper than he had expected. "Two nights, then."

He tried not to spend a lot of money on motels, but it’d been ten days since he slept in a bed and his back hurt like a bitch.

After Dean had paid, the man smiled and handed him his key. "Alright, here's your key. Room 5. My son will help you with your bags."

"I don't nee-" Dean started speaking, but as he turned around, he came face-to-face with the most beautiful person he had ever laid his eyes on. After a hard swallow, Dean managed to say something, "Um, hi."

"Hello," the other boy said and tilted his head.

The man cleared his throat. "Cas. Bags."

The boy - Cas - blinked and shook his head. "Oh, yes. Of course." He grabbed Dean's duffel bag and walked towards the stairs. "Follow me, please."

Dean couldn't stop staring. He wanted to introduce himself, but every time he opened his mouth, no words came out.

"This is your room," Cas said as they stopped.

"Oh, um, thanks."

After a moment of staring at each other, Cas nodded and started walking away.

"Wait," Dean yelled, not wanting the opportunity to talk to the boy pass.

"Yes?"

"I'm Dean."

For the first time Cas smiled and grabbed Dean's outstretched hand. Dean could swear he felt sparks the moment their hands touched and his skin tingled even minutes after.

"I'm Castiel, but you can call me Cas.

"So, um, you work here?" He asked, and mentally slapped himself. Of course he worked here.

Cas didn't seem to mind Dean's slip as he laughed and launched into a story.

That was how Dean met Castiel Shurley.

He had only meant to stay in Faylake for two days and then get back on the road. It had been two weeks since he started his road trip and he thought it was time for him to return home, but after five days, he still didn't make any attempt to leave.

Cas had promised to show him around Faylake, so every afternoon after Cas's shift, they would walk around the town or the woods. Cas would take some photos and Dean would admire the view. The first time, Cas took him to the lake, Dean was left speechless. The lake stretched far, its surface glistening blue color, just like Cas's eyes. At that moment, Dean knew. He was falling hard.

On the sixth day, as he was passing by the mechanic shop, he saw a sign: "Help needed." and it was like a gift from heaven. He didn't want to leave Faylake, at least not yet, so he could really do with a job.

"Hey, boy. Your car broke?" A man asked him as he entered the shop.

"No, I'm, um, looking for a job."

The man raised his eyebrows. "A bit young, aren't you?"

"I've worked with cars before. I can give you a number of my old boss if you want to."

"You're not from around here, are ya, boy?"

"No."

"Okay, give me that number. I'm Rufus."

"Dean."

It took a few moments for Bobby to pick up, but when he did, Rufus's eyebrows shot up.

"Bobby Singer, is that you?" Rufus said and Dean frowned. He didn't tell him Bobby's name.

"Well, I'll be damned! It's been, what, twenty years? Oh, yeah, Dean, um-" Rufus looked at him expectantly.

"Winchester."

"Dean Winchester says he worked for ya. Yeah. Mhm. Oh, I'm in Virginia. Yeah, my mother's birthplace. Yeah-" Rufus broke into laughter. "Wait a minute." He looked at Dean and nodded. "You're hired. You start tomorrow, at 7 A.M."

"Yes, sir," Dean smiled and left Rufus to reconnect with Bobby. What were the chances? He couldn't wait to tell Cas what had happened!

Back at the inn, Dean was surprised to see no one behind the desk, so he walked to the back where Chuck's office was. Before he knocked though, he heard his name and decided to listen.

"Dad, please. He's my friend."

"He's a guest here, Cas."

"He can stay in my room then."

"You know we're short with money."

"So, you're going to rob a kid. He's here on a road trip and I'm sure he wasn't planning on spending so much money on a room. Dad."

There was a brief silence before Chuck sighed, "Ugh, fine. But he's paying for food. And if other people show up and need a room, he has to go."

"Then he'll move to my room. Or do you plan kicking me out too."

So, Cas managed to convince Chuck to let him stay there for free. On one hand, Dean was glad that Cas cared about him and considered him a friend, but on the other hand, he didn't want to be anyone's charity.

The door opened and both Cas and Chuck jumped up when they saw him.

"Sorry, um, I heard what you were talking about and there is no need-"

"Dean."

"No, look. I found a job. So there's no need for a free room."

"Well, I'm sure you'll need that money later. Dad has already said yes, anyway," Cas said and side-glanced at Chuck.

"Yes, Dean. Don't worry about it," Chuck agreed, looking at his son somewhat amused.

"But-"  
"Sorry, Dean, you're outvoted," Cas said with a cheeky grin and Dean was a goner.

"Ugh, fine, but I'm definitely paying for my food," Dean said to Chuck and then turned to Cas. "And I'll take you out for dinner. If-if you want."

Cas smiled, "Like a date?"

"Yeah, if you want."

"Yes, Dean, I would love to go on a date with you."

They stared at each other for a minute, goofy smiles on their faces, until Chuck cleared his throat.

"Well, boys, as amusing as this is, I have work to do," he said as he slithered between them towards the reception. "Have fun and be back before midnight, please."

"Okay, Dad," Cas said as he grabbed Dean's hand and led him upstairs. "I have to get my camera and then we can go out."

"Yeah, no problem," Dean croaked, his hand burning where Cas was touching it and his heart pumping in his chest.

That was how Dean fell in love.

"Dean, it's been a month and a half. When are you coming home," Mary asked. "I'm worried."

"Mom, I really like it here, and I have a job, so don't worry about the money, I'll send you some."

"It's not money I'm worried about. I know you made a friend, but you can't stay there forever."

Yeah, _friend_. More like the most perfect boyfriend in the world. Dean hesitated about telling Mary about that part. She didn't know he liked boys too, and he wasn't sure how she would react. It would be for the best if he kept it quiet for a while, he decided.

"I'm not going to stay forever, Mom. Please, just give me some more time."

Mary sighed, "Okay, take care of yourself. Sam says hi, by the way."

"Tell him he'd better stay away from my room, or else."

"He loves you too, Sam," Mary said and Dean heard his brother laughing in the background.

After he hung up, he walked downstairs to meet Cas. Loud voices coming from Cas's room stopped him in his tracks. Biting his lip, he mulled it over and decided to edge closer.

"You're leaving for college in three weeks. I know you're happy now, but what happens later? I don't want you to get your heart broken." Gabriel, Cas's brother said.

"I know, Gabe, but I don't want to think about it, right now. I- I think I love him."

"Oh, baby bro."

Dean blinked and felt a tear rolling down his cheek. Cas loved him. And Cas was leaving for college. Of course, Dean had been aware of that since day one, but he didn't let himself think about it too hard. One thing was sure, Dean loved Cas too, and he didn't want to lose him.

Hours later, they were lying by the lakeside, Cas's head on his chest and Dean's hand tangled in Cas's hair.

After what seemed like eternity of plucking up courage, Dean took a deep breath and said, "Cas, I love you."

With wide eyes, Cas turned around. "Really?"

Dean nodded slowly.

"I love you too," Cas grinned and inched closer. His eyes went to Dean's mouth, giving a clear indication of what he wanted.

And who would Dean be if he didn't oblige? He leaned in and kissed him, certainly not for the first time, but this kiss was more heated, more passionate. One thing was the same about every kiss though- the spark Dean felt every time their lips met, lighting up his whole body.

"Cas," Dean moaned as Cas mouthed his pulse point, "I want you."

Grinding their hips together, Cas looked up, his pupils wide and dark. "What if someone catches us?"

"No one comes here, you know that. Fuck, do that again."

Cas chuckled and pressed down harder before he pulled away. "Shirt off," he growled and Dean could do nothing but follow the order.

They shed their shirts and Cas returned to his spot above Dean, his hand skimming down to Dean's bulge.

"Can't believe you're wearing jeans in the middle of summer," Cas breathed out.

"I didn't pack any shorts," Dean laughed, grabbing Cas's ass and squeezing, "But I sure am glad you did."

Cas removed his hand from Dean's crotch and put them on either side of Dean's head, bracketing him, and ground down hard. Slowly, they rubbed their erections together while moaning and panting in each other's mouth.

"Cas, Cas, let's-" Dean tried to speak, but he was too gone for that, so he reached down and unzipped first Cas's and then his pants. Taking both of their erections in his hand, he started stroking before Cas caught on and slipped his own hand down to help. With joined forces, they brought each other closer and closer, until they spilled all over their hands and stomachs.

Laughing, Dean reached towards his backpack and took out some tissues.

"You came prepared," Cas rasped out.

"I didn't really plan for this to happen, if that's what you mean," Dean said after he had wiped them clean. "But for my first time, this was amazing, right?"

He looked over to Cas, who was frowning at him.

"You mean your first time with a man."

"N-no," Dean stuttered. "My first time ever. You don't- You don't mind, right?"

"Of course not, Dean. It was my first time too. I was just surprised because you told me you dated before and I presumed…"

"Yeah, I dated, but it was never like this." Dean pulled Cas into his embrace, "Was this okay? For your first time."

"It was perfect," Cas whispered and Dean grinned, pressing a small kiss on top of Cas's head.

They stayed like that for a while, cuddling in silence, until Dean got a brilliant idea.

"Marry me."

"What?" Cas squeaked, sitting up.

"Marry me."

"Dean."

"I'm serious."

"This is crazy," Cas said, laughing, but there was a glint in his eyes which told Dean that Cas wanted this too.

"We can go to the courthouse tomorrow and get a marriage license."

"You really want to get married."

"Yes," Dean said and squeezed Cas's hand, "I love you and I want to be with you. I know you have to go to college soon, but we'll figure it out. What do you say?"

"Okay."

"Okay?"

"Yes, Dean, let's get married."

They laughed and Dean pulled Cas into a tight hug. He knew it was crazy. They'd known each other for a month, but it felt right in his heart.

That was how Dean lost both his virginity and his mind.

The next morning found Dean and Cas in front of the town hall, Gabriel by their side shaking his head disapprovingly as they tried to find a second witness.

"Don't you know someone, Cas? You've been here longer than me."

"I never really made any friends here. Well, there's Meg."

"Oh, great, invite a demon to the wedding," Gabriel muttered.

"Shut up, Gabe," Cas said, "Meg isn't that bad. She's always very nice to me."

"Well, great, let's call her," Dean jumped in. "You think she'll be able to come on such short notice?"

"Yes, I think so," Cas said as he typed a message on his phone.

37 minutes later, not that Dean was counting, a brown-haired woman in dark clothes and sunglasses pulled up in front of them.

"You rang, Clarence?" Her eyes roved up and down Dean's body, "You got yourself a pretty boytoy here."

Dean shifted uncomfortably and looked behind her at her motorcycle. "Nice ride."

"I bet you are," she smirked, making Dean blush. "So you're really getting hitched. Never thought you'd do something so crazy, Clarence."

"It might seem crazy now, but in the end everything will turn out okay," Cas smiled at Dean. "You'll see."

"Cassie, you hopeless romantic," Gabriel let out a sigh and ran his fingers through his hair, "Come on, let's do this."

The ceremony was simple and short, impersonal, but that didn't matter, Dean thought. Only he and Cas mattered in that moment. And their love.

Dean had never thought he was such a sap.

He gazed at Cas, with a huge grin, as he said firm "I do," and he watched Cas do the same, his heart beating from excitement and love.

"Castiel and Dean, by the power vested in me by the state of Virginia, I now pronounce you married. You may kiss," the officiant said.

They happily turned to each other and shared their first kiss as a married couple. He heard Meg whistle and when he looked at them, Gabriel was wiping his eyes and Meg was grinning. Cas grabbed his hand and brought his attention back to him.

"Hello, husband," Cas murmured, the word making Dean's skin tingle.

"Hey, husband," Dean returned and pecked his lips once more before they were forced to pull apart and sign the papers.

Once they were outside, Gabriel insisted they go celebrate at the restaurant and Dean was happy to go wherever his husband was.

That was how Dean got married.

Chuck had been furious when they told him. He had yelled for almost an hour before he calmed down and gave them the key to an old cabin in the woods.

"I thought about renting it out, but it's too far away and no one wants it. It needs some renovations, but I'm sure you'll handle it," he had said and gave Cas a hard pat on his shoulder before pointing his finger at Dean "You'd better watch out."

They'd moved in the next day, both unsure how long they would actually be staying there, but neither willing to talk about it. The cabin _was_ pretty far, but it was on the lakeside, so they had an amazing view from their bedroom. They liked it because it was theirs. They were in love with their home, with the lake, with each other. Nothing else mattered.

One day, Rufus let Dean go early because there was nothing to do, so he decided to do some grocery shopping. When he got home, he was surprised to see his mother's car parked in front of the cabin. Walking up to the front door, he saw her sitting on the porch.

"Mom," he said, attracting her attention, "What are you doing here? How did you know where I live?"

"Rufus told me." Mary got up and approached Dean, hugging him tightly. "I missed you, honey."

"I missed you too, Mom."

Dean felt a pang of guilt. Since he and Cas got married, he only called home once. He had meant to tell Mary about his wedding, but he knew his mother wouldn't approve of his rash decision, so he kept it to himself.

"Dean, I was worried," she began.

"Mom, I'm fine. You didn't have to come all the way here."

"That's not why I'm here. Can we come in?" She gestured towards the house and hesitated for a moment before nodding and unlocking the door. "Whose house is this anyway? Your friend's?"

Dean cleared his throat and avoided his mother's eyes. "Yeah, Cas's Dad let us stay here for the summer."

They settled in the living room after Dean made Mary some coffee and tea for himself. She raised her eyebrows at his choice of drink, but he just shrugged. "Cas likes his tea, so he got me addicted to it. So what's up?"

"Well, Dean," Mary started, rubbing her hands on her knees. "Your grandfather is dead."

"My- What?"

"I know I told you my parents died before you were born, but the truth is they didn't like your dad, so they kicked me out when I decided to marry him."

"Wow. Is Grandma still alive, then?"

"No, she passed a few years ago. I-I didn't know," Mary said as she wiped her tear-filled eyes.

Dean scooted closer and put his arm around her. "Hey, it's not your fault. How could you know? It was them who kicked you out."

"Yeah, they kicked me out of the house, but it was me who refused to talk to them."

Not knowing what to say, Dean pulled her into a hug. "I'm sorry, Mom. How did you find out about Grandpa then?"

"A lawyer came by our house. It seems like my father left you and Sam some money."

Dean's eyebrows shot up, "Really? How much?"

"About three hundred grand each."

"What?" Dean jumped up from the couch. "Holy fuck. That's- holy fuck."

"That's why I am here. You can come home now, you can go to college."

"I can go to college," Dean repeated, still stupefied.

"You won't actually get the money until you're 21, but we'll be okay until then."

"Wow, I did not see this coming," Dean said as he plopped down.

Mary huffed. "Yeah, me neither."

"I am going to college," Dean grinned. "I'm going to college!"

"Yes, you are," Mary laughed and ruffled his hair, "I'm so happy for you. My father might have been a hardass to me, but I'm so glad he did this for you and Sam. He must have gotten soft in his old age."

"I didn't even know them."

"I think John sent them some pictures of you and Sam over the years. So, are you ready to come home now?"

Dean froze. What was he supposed to say? 'No, sorry, Mom. This is my home now, which I share with my husband.' But then again, was this really his home? Cas was leaving for New York in a week. They had never talked about what would happen later. Did Cas expect Dean would follow him? Did he want to try long-distance? Dean didn't know and he had been too scared to ask, not wanting to disrupt their peace. Well, one thing was sure. Dean had to go back home. There was no reason for him to stay in Faylake once Cas left and New York was too expensive, even if he did inherit a shit ton of money. He really needed to talk to Cas.

"Yeah, Mom. I'm coming home, but give me two more days, okay?"

"Why?"

"To say goodbye. Cas is going to New York in a week, so who knows when I'll see him again. You should head out now, though. No need to wait around for me."

Mary smirked and raised her eyebrow. "I see how it is. You don't want me to cramp your style. Okay, okay."

"Mom," Dean laughed at her theatrics, but secretly hoped she would leave before Cas came home.

An hour later Cas opened the door and entered the house, carrying bags with groceries.

"Shit, I bought groceries too. I forgot to text you," Dean said when he saw him.

"Well, at least we won't starve to death," Cas chuckled, "Hey, was someone here? Some car passed me by?"

Dean shrugged and focused on putting the food in the fridge. "No, there was no one here. Maybe someone got lost."

"Probably, yes."

The next day, Dean quit his job.

"I'm sorry if it's unexpected."

"That's okay, boy. There hasn't been much work around here anyway, these last couple of weeks. So you leaving?"

"Well, Cas is going to college, so there's no need for me to stick around."

"Well, it was good to meet ya, boy. Say hi to Bobby," Rufus said as he slapped Dean on the back.

"Yes, sir."

Dean spent the day being all over Cas. He was trying to pluck up enough courage to tell Cas he was leaving, but the more he was around the other boy, the less he wanted to. Cas was so happy, smiling and laughing at Dean's stupid jokes. Dean didn't want to see that dissolve.

"You're very handsy today," Cas said as they lay together on the couch.

"What? I can't cuddle up to my husband anymore?" Dean nuzzled Cas's neck. "I love your smell."

"Thank you, Dean." Cas's hand wandered down from Dean's shoulders to the hem of his shirt and then sneaked underneath. "So, is cuddling all you want to do with your husband, or?"

"What are you suggesting?"

"Why don't you come with me and find out," Cas said as he got up and rushed to the bedroom, not even looking back to see if Dean was following him.

After a fun and tiring evening in their bedroom, Cas crashed immediately, but Dean couldn't catch a wink. He tossed all night, knowing he had fucked up. He was leaving tomorrow and hadn't told Cas. When he glanced at his husband, he decided it would be for the best if he didn't say anything. Maybe he would write a letter. Cas would be sad, Dean knew, but he was also sure that once he was in New York, Cas would move on quickly. There was wonderful future in front of him and Dean would soon become nothing but a distant memory. He would be just fine- Dean didn't doubt it.

At that moment, Dean's decision seemed perfectly logical and rational and for the best, but then the morning came and Dean kissed Cas goodbye before the other boy left for work, aware that it was their last kiss, and his chest constricted as he fought back the tears. For a second, he contemplated going to Shurley's Inn and telling Cas, but decided against it. He had made his decision and now he just had to man up and do it.

As he wrote the letter, he tried to keep it short and clear, trying to prove that what he did was best for them. When he signed it, one tear fell down his cheek and onto the paper, creating a small smudge. He quickly wiped his face and put the letter where Cas would easily notice it.

Grabbing his duffel bag, he put what few clothes he had in it and headed out. Before he left the house, he remembered the picture of their wedding that Gabe had insisted on taking. He hurried to the living room and took the picture out of the frame, folding it and putting it into his pocket. After taking a deep breath, he looked around one more time and left the cabin.

That was how Dean broke his own heart.

 


	3. Part 3

_Cas had never felt this heartbroken. When he had come home, he expected Dean to be there already, so when there was no Impala parked in front of the cabin, his stomach clenched uncomfortably. Once he had entered the house, his gut feeling was confirmed. Dean was gone. Dean left him._

_He let out a wrenching sob, as he looked around the cabin, hoping to find a sign that he was mistaken, but there was nothing except a piece of paper on the coffee table._

__

[Dear Cas,

I'm sorry for leaving without telling you, but I just couldn't bring myself to talk to you about it. I'm sure you feel hurt right now, but you need to trust me when I say that this is for the best. We are young, Cas and there will be a whole lot waiting for us in the future. It would be stupid to miss it because we are tied to each other. And yes, I should've talked to you about this, but I'm selfish, Cas. I wanted my last memory of you to be your happy face, and not you being angry and sad. I hope you won't hate me, but if that will help you move on faster, I guess I don't have any right to resent you. Take care of yourself, Cas. I hope you do good at college (though I know you will), and please, know that I really do love you.

~~Your~~ Dean]

_There was a smudge beside Dean's name. It seemed like Dean cried when he wrote the letter. Cas didn't care. So what if Dean had cried, if he had been hurt. He still left._

_Cas should have known this would happen. They had never talked about their future. He had foolishly thought that everything would work out, that they would make it up as they went._

_Sitting down on their couch, he called Gabriel. He knew his brother would tell him how right he had been and how dumb Cas was, but in that moment Gabriel was the only person who would be able to comfort him._

_"Gabe, can you come to the cabin? I-I need you," Cas said when Gabriel picked up._

_"Cas. Cas, what is it? Are you crying? Are you hurt?"_

_"I- Dean left," Cas managed to say before he broke down in tears._

_"Shit. I'll be right there. Hold on, little brother," Gabriel said and hung up._

_Trying to calm down, Cas took a deep breath and looked around the empty room. He was all alone again._

"You broke my heart too, you know," Cas said when Dean stopped talking. "You left without a word, giving me some bullshit excuse. You didn't even leave me your address, so I couldn't send you divorce papers."

"I'm sorry, Cas. I really am. But I can't give you any valid reason, okay. I was a stupid, confused teenager. You know, I didn't even tell my Mom about being married until, like, two years ago and then it was only by accident," Dean snorted, before turning serious. "I tried to forget about it, but…" he paused and looked deep in thought. "Leaving seemed like the only thing I could do at the time. I regretted it as soon as I got back to Lawrence, but it seemed too late to fix anything," he said finally.

"Then, why are you here now? You still haven't told me."

"Well, two weeks ago," Dean stared at the lake as he spoke, "my girlfriend proposed to me and I-"

Realization dawned on Cas. Of course. "You want a divorce," he said, sounding more resigned than he wanted to. Despite himself, he had hoped for… For something.

"What? No! I turned her down. That's not," Dean sighed and rubbed his eyes, "That's not why I am here. I realized when she proposed to me that, first, I'm already married, and second, I was already married to the only person I wanted to be married to."

Cas's breath caught in his throat, "What are you saying?"

"Lisa is a great woman, you know. She's beautiful and sweet and she gets me, but the thought of being married to her… It doesn't sit well with me. There was something missing when I was with her. There was something missing whenever I was with anybody else, but you."

"Dean…" Cas whispered. He wanted to be angry, but his heart still ached for Dean. If there was a chance Dean wanted him- No, he chastised himself. He would not succumb.

As if he didn't hear Cas at all, Dean continued, "I felt a spark with you. Like in some cliché rom-com. Whenever we touched, whenever we kissed, there was this spark. And I thought for years that it was crazy to miss it and that I'll find someone else who would make me feel like that, but… So, I guess, I came here to see if I could still feel it."

They sat in silence. Cas wasn't sure how to respond, so he kept quiet. Dean was a trap he wouldn't let himself fall into again.

"Aren't you going to say anything?"

Cas sighed, "I don't know what you want me to say."

"Well, at least tell me I'm not crazy. That you felt it too. The spark."

"We were just kids, Dean."

Before either of them could say anything else, Cas's phone rang.

"Hannah, is everything alright?"

"Castiel, I'm sorry I'm interrupting you, but Mr. Davies wants to talk to you."

"I'll be there soon," he said as he rolled his eyes. Mr. Davies was a very demanding guest, but he paid well, so Cas tried his best to please him. "I'm sorry, Dean. I have to return to the inn. Can we continue this some other time? Are you staying, or do you have to go home?"

He got up and brushed the dirt from his pants, Dean following his lead "Well, I don't have a home at the moment, so I'm not in a hurry."

"What do you mean?" Cas looked up.

"I was living with Lisa in Michigan, she wanted to be closer to her folks. So when we broke up…" Dean made a vague gesture with his hand.

"Oh, I'm sorry. Are you going to stay with your mother?"

Dean shrugged. "We'll see."

"Well, if you need a place to stay for the night, you can come with me to the inn."

"Can I stay here? At the cabin?"

"If you don't mind the dust, sure."

"Thanks, Cas," Dean said as he squeezed Cas's shoulder. "Hey, can I hug you?"

Cas blinked in a surprise, "I guess. Okay."

Dean gave him one of his blinding smiles and wrapped his arms around Cas. It was short, but enough to engulf Cas with a mixture of emotions. He had missed Dean so much, but the memory of the empty cabin still hurt. Damn Dean.

Flustered, Cas pulled away and hurried toward his car before he realized Dean had driven them there.

"Need a ride?" Dean smirked.

"Yes, please."

Cas worried the drive would be awkward, but even though they drove in silence, it was nice, pleasant. Like it used to be. He looked out the window, trying to hide the smile that he couldn't fight. Maybe he was a fool, but he really had a feeling that this time, he and Dean would work things out.

"So…" Gabriel said as he leaned on the counter. "How's Dean?"

Cas sighed. He had just finished talking with Mr. Davies and he wasn't in the mood to deal with another pain in his ass. "He's fine."

"You two were gone the whole afternoon. What were you doing?"

"We were talking," Cas answered, choosing to ignore the accusation in his brother's tone.

"Mhmm, sure," Gabriel glared. "I hope you know what you're doing, Cassie."

"Look, Gabe, he explained why he left and, frankly, his reason is stupid, but he says he's sorry and I believe him. We were so young and foolish, but I think we've both matured over the years."

"I don't want to see you hurt again."

"I know, I know, but," Cas smiled, "I love him. I still love him. Call me crazy, but I want to give him another chance."

Gabriel scrutinized him for a few moments before sighing. "Before I met Kali, I would've probably tried to stop you, but now I say: go for it."

Cas's eyes widened, "Really?"

"But just so you know," Gabriel pointed his finger, "If he hurts you, I'll find him this time and kick his sorry ass."

"I know you will," Cas laughed.

Stepping behind the reception, Gabriel pulled Cas into a hug. "I want you to be happy and if you really think you can be happy with Dean… Who am I to stop you?"

"Thank you, Gabe. I love you."

"Love you, too, baby bro."

Gabriel's blessing encouraged Cas to pursue Dean. After putting on his best clothes, he went to the cabin, leaving Hannah in charge, and hoped that Dean hadn't left. When he saw the Impala parked in front of it, he breathed a sigh of relief.

"Dean?" He called out as he entered.

"In the kitchen!"

"You've been busy," Cas said, noticing the lack of dust on most surfaces.

"Yeah, nothing else to do, so what the hell?" Dean turned around and finally looked at Cas, his mouth falling open at the sight.

Cas didn't even try to hide his smirk. He had hoped to elicit that reaction from Dean. "I wanted to continue our conversation."

"Yeah, of course. Do you want to go outside or-"

"Actually, I thought maybe we could go to our spot."

"Our spot? Yeah. Yeah, okay," Dean nodded slowly, without a doubt thinking of the place where they had made many memories, where they'd had sex for the first time.

The spot in question wasn't far. By foot, they reached it in fifteen minutes.

Cas had planned the whole speech, but as they sat down on the grass, the words poured out of him, "I want to be with you."

Dean blinked in surprise before beaming at him. "Seriously? I was so sure you were going to tell me to go fuck myself."

"Look, I'm not going to pretend I wasn't hurt and that I don't have my doubts about this, but you were-are my first and only love. I know I will regret it if I don't give us a second chance."

"I promise Cas, I will do my best not to hurt you again. I don't wanna lose you ever again."

"I hope you won't have to."

They smiled at each other until Dean cleared his throat and looked away. "So, can I kiss you, or, um-"

"No, not yet," Cas said firmly. As much as he wanted to, there were still other matters they had to discuss first.

"Oh, okay."

Dean looked so rejected that Cas almost gave in. "We have so much to talk about first. For example, where are you going to live? Are you going back to Lawrence, or are you going to stay?"

"If you are happy here, Cas, then I'll stay with you. I can find a teaching job here, or in some town close by."

Cas looked away from Dean's earnest face. "I'm not actually."

"You're not happy?"

"No. You know I've always wanted to travel and, as much as I love Faylake, I hate being confined to one place."

"Then we'll travel."

"But the inn-"

"That chick- Hannah, is it?- she seems capable enough."

Dean had a point. Hannah was better at everything. She had worked for his father, and she took care of him when he was sick. Cas had never understood why Chuck didn't leave the inn to her, and insisted that Cas and Gabriel take it over.

"But what about your job? You won't be able to teach if we're traveling. And the money-"

"Don't worry about the money, I've saved a lot over the years," Dean said before he turned flustered, looking down at his hands, "And, well, there's actually something else I want to do and I don't need a permanent location for that," Dean said as his face flushed red.

"What is it? You don't have to be embarrassed."

"I want to make videos, like with experiments and stuff, and put them on YouTube. There was one kid in my class who suggested it, and I don't know. I kinda like the idea. The kids always liked how I explained and showed them stuff and I want to make science fun for other kids too, not just the ones in a school where I'm teaching. And if I get popular, I would get paid… It's stupid, I know."

Cas listened to Dean explaining himself with a smile, barely stopping himself from kissing him senseless. "It's not stupid, it's amazing. I think you'd do a great job. You should do it."

"Then you should follow your dream, too. Travel the world."

"My dream was to become a photographer. I can't do that with a business degree," Cas muttered bitterly.

"Screw that. You have the skill. I bet you can do it. Plus, my best friend, Charlie, has this blog that's crazy popular and she can always advertise you. Oh, she'll make you a kick-ass website too. I-"

Interrupting Dean's excited babbling, Cas pushed forward and pressed their lips together. Dean gasped in surprise, but after a moment, eagerly returned the kiss.

"What was that for?" Dean breathed out after they pulled apart.

"You're so amazing. I love you," Cas said as he stroked Dean's cheek. "I know we haven't seen each other in years, and we may be different now, but I love you."

Dean stared at him, awestruck. "Cas," he whispered. "I love you too, so damn much."

Before Cas could say anything, he was pushed on his back as Dean climbed on top of him and kissed him deeply. Once they started, they couldn't stop. Cas forgot everything he had wanted to discuss- it didn't matter anymore. He had lost himself in Dean's mouth. When he felt a tight pressure in his pants, he broke off the kiss and rolled them over, so he was the one on top.

"Do you remember our first time?" he murmured in Dean's ear. When Dean nodded, Cas gently bit his earlobe before saying, "How about a repeat performance?"

**Author's Note:**

> Please leave kudos or comment if you liked it. 
> 
> You can find me on [tumblr](http://breathingdestiel.tumblr.com)!


End file.
